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The Unexplored part of me - Am I still finding Myself?

Submitted by rashmijsr on Tue, 2021-07-13 16:50

This journey called life is great and it did teach me lots of lessons. I started questioning my own ability as a person and wanted to explore more of me so that I can achieve my divine purpose in this lifetime. I have explored various parts of myself and I have written in detail about my journey in my book “Love You Jindagi My Journey to meet Sri Anantha Padmanabhaswamy”. One single encounter changed my total being and my whole life. I started exploring myself after my divine encounter on 31st December 2015. Everything which you question about God or the universe is real. Energies are real and you can feel the invisible realm near you. I never had any idea that I will get fascinated by spirituality or cosmos but I did. The reason behind my exploration was simple I needed peace of mind after my life fell apart in 2017. That is the time I realized that my mental health needs to be fixed. I worked on everything which a normal person or girl of my age would shy away from. I never feared anything and those are the traits that I discovered when I had to face the world alone all by myself. That is the time I realized that there are various facets that lie dormant in you and are awakened when you are faced with challenging situations.

One single incidence changed the entire course of my life and I really don’t know how to label that. I practiced spirituality to the level where you would label a person as a hardcore “Pandit”. I started establishing a connection with the realm which is invisible and yes they started responding. Your prayers are powerful so check what you ask for? It may so happen that you may wake up and God is standing by your side and saying that I have granted your wishes so be prepared for your new journey, new life. When you focus on something without any distractions the images in your head start shaping into reality. I don’t define the life which I lived before my forties as a successful one. I took a long career break and I am ready to put my foot in the world as a working professional again but with a different energy. I have worked hard on my spirituality and I don’t take credit for it because it was all under divine guidance but yes I followed sincerely. Every spiritual practice I did came as a message through my intuition. I discovered the unknown highly spiritual part of myself when I was fully engrossed in what I was doing. It was all silent work and no one from the outside world participated.

Every action of yours comes back so be good and do good. I remember an incident when I got angry at the cab driver because I had to reach somewhere and he canceled the ride. After few weeks I had to go to the market so I booked a cab to go to my destination and he narrated the incident that one day I got angry with someone. I questioned him and asked, “How he knew everything”. That driver just smiled and did not speak anything. That incident is still in my memory because I could not understand how? God sometimes speaks directly to me through various people and I understood that when similar incidences started repeating themselves. Sometimes I feel very much guided and the rest of the time I explore my own path. The girl which existed in me a few years back died much before I became aware of it and when I discovered my true self it was too hard for me to accept the reality that the person who is living inside my body is not me.

I am much better than before dealing with all my emotions. I feel that I am exploring myself. Various incidences have happened in my life which usually don’t happen with everyone. I am a very pampered child of my parents and I never knew what pain or grief is till I was living with them and that is also one of the main reasons that I felt much more pain than anyone else. I had great neighbors and they were there for me whenever I needed help. I sometimes think I know only a part of me and a big chunk of my personality is still waiting to get discovered. August 2019 brought a big turning point in my life because all the spiritual work I did was never ever done by me before nor I had heard or read about them in any books. The precise timing and what needs to be done were conveyed to me. Many times I question myself, “Am I different”. I don’t think in the direction any normal human being would be thinking and I really don’t know why?

I have seen life to the very basic level and that is the only reason a lot of things that would interest any other person do not catch my attention. When I got a single status I worked on my spirituality with my God and I was so much occupied with the work that I hardly had any time. I used to do all my homework, cooking, cleaning, 5 hours of meditation, Yoga, and then other spiritual practices to strengthen my connection with the universe. It was more of full-time work. When people ask me what I did all these years which they label as wasted time, I say I have worked on the invisible. It is so hard for me to explain what I have worked on? Everyone can see material success, goals, or building great businesses but I have worked on something which cannot be seen and I can’t prove anything to anyone so there is no proof. Give me any label and I am happy with it.

I want to earn to the level that I can bring a smile to every person’s face with my better half. My God says “Dreams do Come True”.

I will write more about me in the coming writeups of mine because there is so much I have known about the unknown part of me and I love the company of the invisible realm.

© 2010 Rashmi Priya. m